8 Things to Say to Your Ex Who You Still Love

8 Things to Say to Your Ex Who You Still Love

To save myself will be my own greatest accomplishment. Once that happens, I will stronger than ever. And the next time I visit a seemingly knight-like guy, I will say hello and keep moving forward. I won’t need rescuing (nor should anyone). I will do it all by myself. Signup for Our Newsletter Get Us in Your Inbox! Online Dating, Sex, and Relationship Advice Tips in Your Inbox… Follow @theurbandater Like this:Like Loading… Share This Article Facebook5Tweet0Pin0 Posted in: Dating & Relationships Tagged in: cheating, Relationships, Starting Over Share this Article Facebook14Tweet0Pin0 The breakup started out as well as I could have hoped. I said I wanted to remain friends and I implied it.slut roulette model I still cared about him, the relationship had just run its course. It was sad but I was ready to move on to the next chapter of my life.

But he wasn’t going to allow me to do that. Hysterics followed accusations that I never cared about him. And when those were met with anger on my part, suddenly it was apologies and “I’m sorry, I won’t do it again, I just love you.” Every outburst became more and more absurd and then receded like the tide. It was happening so frequently that I made the decision to block his phone number and block him on all social media just for some sanity. I thought that he would let it go after that. The series of events that unfolded in the following weeks resulted in my brain reeling for hours on end. I couldn’t believe that anyone would be capable of the things he was doing, especially someone that I had dated for two years and lived with. I got a text from a number I didn’t recognize telling me that the guy I had recently begun seeing was dangerous and that he had an STI. They claimed to be a girl that I went to high school with who happened to go out with exactly the same guy and wanted to warn me.

She went on to say that she had filed a restraining order against him, which therefore prevented her from telling me her name. I was skeptical. Not just because I liked the brand new guy and didn’t want to believe it, but because the texts I was receiving sounded like they were from someone who had never met me and just read a synopsis of my life. However, it obviously shook me. I started Googling places to get free STI testing done and texted friends and family to see if I could figure out who this person was. After concluding that this was not a real person that I went to high school with, I determined that my ex must be involved somehow. The next day when I tried to call the number that had been texting me; it was disconnected. I got tested the next week, it came back negative and I wrote off the incident. But I ended things with the new guy I was seeing anyway. The whole situation was wild but I didn’t think that it could get any worse. Over the next three months, I got texts from six different numbers claiming responsibility or admitting involvement in these weird occurrences. All created using an iPhone app that allows you to make burner numbers and text from your phone so they can’t be traced (I know, I tried to reverse-search the numbers or look them up). All assured me that my ex had nothing to do with it. Yeah, right.

I also matched with a fake Hinge profile, who turned out to be my ex using someone else’s photos to try to lure me to a restaurant we had gone on our first date. Every time I was contacted by one of these phone numbers or profiles, it got more absurd. I started to get paranoid that he was watching me. What was his end goal in all of this? Surely he knew that by doing all of this it wasn’t going to make me want to get back together with him. It was a case of the classic, “If I can’t have you, no one can,” modern edition. I believe that his goal was to make me so paranoid that anyone I might meet on these dating apps had the potential to be fake, that I wouldn’t participate or meet anyone ever. He knew that I was on these apps and relied on them for the majority of the dates that I went on and took advantage of that. I cried about it frequently. Not out of sadness, but frustration. I knew that he was stubborn and that he wasn’t going to allow me to have a second of peace.

All I wanted was for this to stop, I wished he would just allow me to go and move on. My thoughts became consumed with texts and messages. I tried to go out and get on with my life but I kept looking over my shoulder, afraid that he was going to appear suddenly. Then one night it happened. Before we had broken up, I was residing in Nevada. I moved there for him after I graduated from college. After six months, I had become discontented with my life and decided to move back to Colorado.

How To Look Irresistible On The First Date

I asked him to come with me and he declined. He said he could never see himself living there. So I picked up my life and moved back home. Leaving that place continues to be one of the best decisions I have ever made and will probably are so for a long time.

Several months after moving back, I was out with friends in Denver at a bar we frequented. I was having a great time when suddenly I turned around on the dance floor and saw him. It was a scene from a horror movie. My drunkenness blurred the rest of the people in the room and in slow motion all I saw for a brief second before my friend pulled me away and down the stairs was a serial killer-esque smile. A smile that said, “I found you.” He later told my father, who called him in a rage, that he had ended up at the same bar as us purely by accident while in town looking for places to live. This was my worst fear come to life. Even after all that he had put me through, I still had some comfort in the fact that he didn’t live in exactly the same state as me. I don’t know if he ever found a place, and I don’t know if I would know if he did. I’ve tried to isolate myself from him so much that now he just feels like a shark swimming beneath me. I can’t see him, I don’t know what he’s doing. The only way I’ll know is if he’s too close for me to swim away.

I went to the police after that night and was told that he hadn’t done anything criminal so they couldn’t file any charges. My only option was to file an information report, which felt was like a slap in the face after the emotional torture I was through over the last 4 months. As insane as my ex was being, he was also being smart. He used technology to his advantage in order to ensure that I couldn’t prove to police that it was him. But in my mind, there’s no one else that it could possibly be.topadultreview.com No one else would care that we had broken up and would want to make sure that we wouldn’t get back together. In the texts that I had received, there were little idiosyncrasies in the language being used that was identical to the language I had come to know from three years of texting my ex. I was tired of recounting everything he had done over and over again and being asked if I had done anything to create him go crazy after we broke up. If I had done anything. As if something I had done could possibly warrant his behavior or excuse it.

My mother encouraged me to change my phone number and get off social media and dating apps. That frustrated me even more. I know she had good intentions, but I felt like this would be letting him win. He wanted me to be alone. I’m certain this was the end goal. He had to know that there was no chance of us getting back together and he would rather me be alone if I wasn’t with him. And I was certain that after all lengths he had gone to to get to me so far, that changing my number wouldn’t stop him. He would find it another way. I wasn’t going to cut myself off from the world because of him. Through the whole ordeal, I was constantly reminded of the power of technology. Location services allowed my ex to track my location and see who I was with. He could create as many fake phone numbers as he wanted as well as fake dating profiles without any repercussions in the eyes of the law. He never used the same number twice once I started to catch on that it was him. My small circle is now even smaller in an effort to protect myself and my friends from what was, in my eyes, an unpredictable person. I would like to think that he has finally given up but I really don’t know what he is going to do next. I have pulled back on who I accept follow requests from and who is allowed to view my location.

Technology makes it easier than ever for people to act crazy when things go south. As much as we shrug off our parent’s conspiracy theories about technology, they do have a point when it comes to some things. After all of this, I’ve had to be more conscious about social media dating apps and I’ve encouraged those I know to do exactly the same. And it’s important to recognize the red flags early in relationships so your life doesn’t turn into a true-crime episode. Facebook14Tweet0Pin0 Signup for Our Newsletter Get Us in Your Inbox! Online Dating, Sex, and Relationship Advice Tips in Your Inbox… Follow @theurbandater Like this:Like Loading… Forbes Magazine says: “Of anyone who has dated a coworker, 42 percent said they had an ongoing, casual relationship; 36 percent said they had a “random office hookup;” 29 percent had been in a serious, long-term relationship; and 16 percent had met their spouse or partner at work.” Love is a battlefield. And love at the office is a war zone. Here are 10 signs that your suspecting office romance is on the offense.

Knowing them will gear you up. 1.  Intentions & Statuses This can be trickiest part. Romance comes in all forms because of everyone’s varying intentions. She’s taken. He’s married. She’s his boss. He’s her work husband. They work in different departments. They work in the same cubicle. Before assessing any of the other factors, it’s important to understand this part foremost. Is it simply because of the thrill of something forbidden? How about pure lust? Is it a throw at the office’s social/political environment?

Men: Keep it Real

What are his or her potential motivations to seduce you? And finally, would you like this person even if he or she didn’t work where you work.

2. Rapport and Familiarity It’s important to at least get along with your colleagues. Unnecessary friction at the office will slow down an otherwise efficient and productive workday. So of course, rapport and overall good morale is expected. To tell the difference between just colleagues and something more, you really need to pay attention to frequency and proximity. Sure, he could ask you,” How you’re doing?” one day, without a thought, but if he asks you consistently every day or even multiple times a day, there’s room to question. Also, watch how close she is to you throughout the workday. Does she type of always linger at your desk? Or she leaves and arrives almost always near the same time you do. 3. Body Language There are exhaustive lists of what body language signs women and men display when attracted to someone. But I think the main indications to look out for are ones demonstrated by your co-worker’s eyes, voice, and posture. She will look at you way more intensely without breaking eye contact. Shifting between eyes and dilation is hard to miss. Blink rate, batting, and staring.

His voice will sound softer when talking to you. Soft as almost a lover’s whisper. His voice might even boom sometimes just so he can grab your attention. It certainly depends on the context but frequent changes in pitch and tone are extremely strong indicators. And finally, examine posture. There will be minimal distance between you two. No more will you be in that normal “professional” physical proximity bubble. Leaning in, brushing shoulders, and knocking knees. 4. Emphasis on His/Her Personal Life When you have an office crush, the last thing you want is for him/her to continuously think about work and think of you exclusively in that realm. She will try to break out of that office role as much as possible. She’ll mention her hobbies and invade the typical workday with tons of detail of over what she did that weekend or what she did at home. Sometimes, personal life can be used as an effective gauge for the suspecting seducer to test your interest. He’ll mention his plans of going somewhere in the near future and only hope you’ll be interested to join him. And lastly, there will be some more personal discussions. Sharing of personal goals/news, asking for opinions/help, venting, teasing, and making inside jokes.

5. Some “Push-and-Pull” In the course of this office romance, maybe one party might think they’re catching too strong feelings or alternatively, another party might feel suffocated by another’s presence. Either reason is a good sign because it’s an indication of influence on the other person. As a reaction to this influence, they might act out on attention-seeking behavior or simply try to avoid the other person altogether. It can happen subconsciously and consciously. If it’s happening though, and quite noticeably, something’s up. Calling out on the other person, missing meetings, and coming in extremely early/late. 6. Variances in Mood & Appearance If you say something negative towards them or happen to be quite critical, they take it way too personally. And might displace their emotions to other people and their work.

If you say something positive to them, they perk up and show their best colors and might even brag. Pair the fluctuations of mood with fluctuations of appearance and you got a sure-fire sign. Watch closely both how fast and how intensely they change as well. Did he suddenly clench his fists? Why did she crumple that copy so melodramatically? She’s wearing bright lipstick today. He’s wearing cologne tomorrow. 7. Interaction with Other Co-workers A good measure of reading your co-worker’s feelings is well, other co-workers. They are reflections of what should look like a purely professional relationship. They can serve as objective comparisons. Pay close attention to how the suspecting crush treats you and treats others. Sometimes, they might use the other workers as a good cushion to get to you…He might be frequently talking to your cubicle neighbor simply so he can get brownie points. Other times, they might use other co-workers to attract your attention or make themselves be perceived as approachable. 8. Surreptitiously Flirting They’ll flirt with you just at that edge. Just substantially enough to make you question, but not explicitly enough to call on it.

Verbal and non-verbal. Lots of “accidental” and truly accidental touching which include: brushing arms, knocking knees, and guiding hands. Verbalized excuses paired with “accidental” touching are even bolder moves; This means smiling and saying “I didn’t mean to bump into you, there.” And when it comes to verbal flirting, there will be a lot of underhanded compliments that imply some sensuality like, “You’re so fit” or “Your voice is so rich.” 9. Love Triangle(s) If the work crush ever gets overcomplicated, then multiple parties will pile up. With more complicated feelings, more complicated clutter will follow. Maybe he’s in a relationship that’s long-distance. She’s on-and-off with her ex. Maybe they just want to allow you to jealous. Throw some more co-workers into the mix and you have a high-stake office romance brewing. 10. Receiving/Giving A Little Extra Way long after the work day, if you’re thinking about them, their behavior, about your behavior, that’s enough to suspect. This could range as something as mundane as him getting you that favorite cup of coffee or as elaborate as assisting you shift that deadline so you can get another project done to as something as simple as that killer smile or that misty, solemn stare.

If your suspecting office beau displays all or most of these signs, it’s a sealed fact that there is something more than professional going on. Just trust your intuition. If things feel a little extra, a little like everything is an oxymoron, then yeah, you have a very apparent office romance under your nose.     Signup for Our Newsletter Get Us in Your Inbox! Online Dating, Sex, and Relationship Advice Tips in Your Inbox… Follow @theurbandater Like this:Like Loading… Share This Article Facebook17Tweet0Pin1 Posted in: Asides, Dating & Relationships, Tips & Advice Flowers: they’re undeniably romantic, hugely impressive and every girl loves receiving them – but how do you pick out the perfect bouquet? Follow these top tips and you’ll be on the road to flower success in no time! On a first date if you wish to make a good impression on a first date, then you certainly can’t go wrong with flowers. Men usually shy away from roses first of all; erhaps because they could be expensive and will make quite a grand impression. They’re probably best left to when you’re further into a relationship! However, a single red rose can be super romantic…if you can pull it off without looking too cheesy. If you want to impress with a bit of passion, think about the bouquet colors: hot pinks, reds, oranges and golds are all good and it doesn’t matter too much about the flower type.

Just remember when it comes to first date flowers: don’t go too over the top because it can be a bit much, especially if the date doesn’t end up going that well. And, if it’s a blind date, it’s probably best not to bring any flowers at all. Since you’ve never met, the flowers will be practically meaningless and will come across as contrived. For your girlfriend The trick to a super special bouquet for the one you love is putting one together that uses your girlfriend’s favourite flower. If you don’t know what that is, there are a few ways to subtly find out. If you’re organised enough to plan in advance, try taking her to a garden for the day and pay attention to what she likes (and what she doesn’t!). If that’s not an option, try the age-old classic of working the question into conversation – perhaps leave the bouquet for a little while after this if you don’t want to be too obvious! Another thing you can do is take note of flowers that she buys for herself, or perhaps a bunch you bought her on your first date. These will have the most meaning and will be far less generic than roses. After all, it might turn out that she doesn’t even like roses…so don’t waste your money! If you can’t seem to be able to decipher her favourite flower, try using her favourite colour instead. Yes, you should know this and shame on you if you don’t! But hey, at least it’s easier to find out. “I’m sorry” flowers plants really are a classic way to say I’m sorry when you’ve done something a little bit silly or unreasonable – but they might not work for major relationship issues!

Try yellow roses for something a little bit different from classically cliché red, which might be seen as the easy way out. If you don’t have much money, it’s easier to buy one stunning singular flower than a cheap bouquet, which will look exactly like that: cheap. The key point to remember here is that the flowers should be an extra bonus on top of your grovelling apology; don’t expect them to do all of the hard work for you. With a truly heartfelt apology, a little bit of humbleness and a very special bouquet, you might just find yourself forgiven. When you’re apart Nothing could be more special when you and your significant other are apart, than a surprise bouquet arriving from you, as if by magic. If you can’t be there yourself, then at least some beautiful flowers can! Sending a stunning bouquet with a personalised note just to show that your lover is on your mind is undeniably romantic and you’ll be sure to gain a million bonus points for the gesture. Perhaps even more special than sending flowers for a birthday or anniversary, is sending flowers just because.

If you’re in a long distance relationship or find yourselves in different countries for whatever reason, sending flowers internationally with a company such as FloraQueen will earn you mega relationship points. Top tips If you’d like some more help with picking out your bouquet, talk to your local florist! Learn all about what flowers are in season, what’s fresh, what’s new or what’s popular.

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