Love & Corona: What Will Happen?

Love & Corona: What Will Happen?

And we really, really like….you. Signup for Our Newsletter Get Us in Your Inbox! Online Dating, Sex, and Relationship Advice Tips in Your Inbox… Follow @theurbandater Like this:Like Loading… Share This Article Facebook2Tweet0Pin0 Posted in: Asides, For Men, Tips & Advice Tagged in: Dating, love, men, Relationships, women My Nana was a bold woman. Hmm. That doesn’t fit. a bag of Habanero Doritos is bold. What if you lit that same bag of Doritos on fire, strapped it to the back of Evel Knieval and made him jump a blazing nuclear silo that was also hosting the Middle East Peace talks? That’s just ridiculous; that’s too much!!!is uberhorny a paid website YOU CAN’T HAVE THAT MUCH AWESOME AT ANY ONE DESTINATION AT ANY GIVEN TIME. The world just can’t handle it; there’s just not enough f*cking room for all of it!

Now, if you take a step back; took a moment to look at this collection of awesome and life defying kick assery you’d see a woman; an amazing woman who I was lucky enough to call my “Nana.”I lost my grandmother over a year ago after a long battle with Alzheimer’s condition, which was complicated by Diabetes and Breast Cancer. I mean, really, don’t feel bad. She did everything BIG! As her condition worsened she begun to forget a great many things… Including me and my face. She was a stubborn woman, too. So stubborn that, even in her worst forgetful stages she’d piece together her memory and be fully cognizant, if only for a moment in time; she would ask: “What’s wrong with me? What’s wrong with my mind? My memories…” I knew that she was still fighting, bitterly so, even if her condition was trying to make her “give.” She wouldn’t and it was because “quit” was incomprehensible, much like drinking a large glass of molten lava. You just don’t take action; it’s crazy! When I realized our conversations were never going to be the same, I learned to let go. I begun to mourn the loss of the woman I knew for a lifetime… Yes, I was sad at first, but I recalled the many things that she taught me about myself; about life and just about living in this damn world to begin with. The first thing she taught me was self love.

This was probably the most difficult training to master and it’s something I struggle with from time to time; to a degree I believe we all struggle with loving ourselves. All things considered are we not our own worst critics? It’s easy to bash ourselves. “Mijo, if you don’t take action, how the f*ck else do you expect anyone else to,” she once barked to me within the phone. She was right. I didn’t realize how right she was until I was able to throw myself into relationship after relationship with girls that didn’t give a damn about me… It was a pattern. I turned the focus on me. I stopped reaching to validate my worth through someone else… I learned to “be okay” using this lug of flesh. My Nana once told me about strength. Sometimes strength is being able to lift something heavy and move it out of the way. This is the easiest strength to master. Sometimes strength is being there for someone when they need you most; sometimes strength is saying “ I don’t know and I need help.” That’s the most difficult strength to master… Poignant, right? Well, I always chuckle when I remember her saying “Oh, and sometimes it takes even greater strength to shut your damn mouth when no one’s talking to you!!” Find ways to express yourself. My grandmother, Nana, was amazing artist; simply amazing.

The only thing I asked for when she passed was a drawing or a sketch of hers. She nurtured my creative side and helped me develop it. It’s the one thing that I can point to and say that THAT part of me is the embodiment of my Nana; my grandmother. There is no-one to take that away from me… Except for me. She always encouraged me to nurture that creativity and she did that with others, too. It’s why I give stupid little art lessons at work; it’s why I encourage my girlfriend to write. It’s why I have this blog… Express yourself: Yell, scream, kick, paint, draw, write… DO SOMETHING! Lastly, my grandmother told me that being happy wasn’t just being with someone; it’s being with someone and being together. That is, two strong individuals, who are whole, make each other complete. Cliche? Sure, but because my Nana said it, it’s golden to me. Thanks for everything. Especially the Turtle. Always. Signup for Our Newsletter Get Us in Your Inbox! Online Dating, Sex, and Relationship Advice Tips in Your Inbox… Follow @theurbandater Like this:Like Loading…

Share This Article Facebook1Tweet0Pin0 Posted in: Asides, Self Tagged in: life I believe in first-dates.

What You Drink on a First Date Might be More Important Than the Clothes You Wear

I go on a ton of them. The pure potential, openness, novelty, and spontaneity of a first-date are all highly appealing. The second date, nonetheless, is on an entirely different level. Here are overall ten tips that you can utilize to either shorten or prolong the First date in hopes of getting a second one ( or not). Strategies to Prolong a First Date You’re digging this person, but you’re not sure if he/she feels the same way. Why does he keep considering his watch? Why is she so quiet? Don’t panic. Take a breather and try these methods. 1. Adapt to their body language & their speech. If she’s crossing her arms, check if you’re subconsciously giving her signals that you’re closed off.

Likewise, if she’s giving you positive signals such as leaning close, lean closer. It’s an interesting and effective psychological trick to mirror your date’s behavior. If they start whispering, whisper too. Alikeness breeds familiarity and familiarity fosters attraction. Stay simple and classy. 2.  Pick an exciting venue. Bowling, hiking, painting, or rock climbing. Concerts, karaoke, workshops, or parties. Museums, old antique gift shops, hipster cafes, or even cemeteries (yes, that happened to me once). A stimulating venue provides a third medium that can dilute any weird quirks that might come up on the first date. 3.  Focus on how you’re alike, NOT the same. Look for what you both have in common BUT have a unique opinion about what you all have in common. Let’s say you’re both passionate about music. Great foundational glue. But if you start ripping off what he enjoys, you then don’t have any personality.

Stay authentic. Have a great time. Dare to even critique his eclectic taste in Jazz. 4.   Confident Flattery. Flattery are certain to get you far. But the keyword is confidence. You need to compliment someone affirmatively, and in a way, that enhances Your value at the same time. “ I like wit in a girl” vs. “You’re so smart!” In place of, “Gosh, you are so hot!” say “Guys in uniform are so sexy.” 5. Live in the Moment. If you become too pre-occupied with making an excellent first impression and self-monitoring every move of your date, you’ll lose track of the present moment. Go into the date as if you were meeting an acquaintance of a really, great friend. Imagine you already have their pre-approval (they are your “best friend’s friend” anyway). When you don’t have a little self-critic in your mind, you’ll truly be present and enjoy the date, no matter the outcome. Shortcuts to End a First Date Now, alternatively, you might encounter a disaster of a first-date, and you also couldn’t want to be out of there any sooner.

Maybe, you might not have even wanted to go on a date using this person in the first place. We’ve all been there. Here’s what I found most effective when caught in such a dilemma. 6.    Arrive late. This is assuming that you already are not looking towards a date using this person. Being late any more than fifteen minutes will leave a bad impression. If your date forgives you quickly, then it’s going to take way more for him/her to budge. 7.    Be non-engaging. Only talk about things you wish to talk about. One-sided. But even so, not too much of that either, since you’ll show passion for what enjoy talking about. Of course, be polite, but engagement/active listening should be on a minimal level. Good, nice banal and boring topics include: weather, chairs, trees, plates, laundry, pencils…you get the idea.

8.   Go dutch or be cheap. Turn that traditional pay set-up on its head (this goes both ways). If you’re not into the girl, go dutch or insist she orders with a coupon. If you’re not into him, make sure you get your own personal check and that you owe him nothing. Nonetheless, when neither party has any expectations on billing etiquette, this might not be as effective. Then again, no one really likes a Scrooge. 9.   Pull out a “Red-flag.” Depending on the cringeness-factor of the date, you might want to use this sparingly. You need to balance this a bit.

Just reveal something about yourself that isn’t incredibly appealing but not jarringly horrendous. Keep it peachy. Whether it’s quite severe of a date, any of these standard remarks could be readily used:  “My ex…(anything)” or “You remind me of my Mom/Dad.” 10.   Plan a backup intervention. This should only be used as a final resort. To deliberately end a date, it is possible to come up with an excuse of an either urgent or unexpected significant event that requires your immediate attention. “My shift starts in 30 minutes.” “I promised I’d meet my friend for her birthday.” “ I have to commute.” Avoid clichés like “I need to feed my dog” or overly dramatic scenarios like, “My cousin’s grandmother’s grand aunt is getting A cat scan for her Alzheimers.” The more truth in your excuse, the better. These tips are incredibly powerful. Like Ben Parker says, use them responsibly 😉 Good luck daters!     Signup for Our Newsletter Get Us in Your Inbox! Online Dating, Sex, and Relationship Advice Tips in Your Inbox… Follow @theurbandater Like this:Like Loading…

Share This Article Facebook5Tweet0Pin0 Posted in: Dates & Details, Opinion, Self, Tips & Advice We were approached by the people of Porter Contemporary about an event for NYC singles and we think it looks like  a hoot!

Strong Women: Unleash Your Three Secret Powers In Love

Yes, I said “hoot!” Come and check out a fun art exhibit called “Body Beautiful” at Porter Contemporary, while meeting professional and creative-minded singles 30-45 yrs old in the perfect art setting! Enjoy a open wine bar with light fare and giveaways while making new friends. The Crowd: 30-45 year old single, professional, creative minded individuals looking to meet the same! The Place: Porter Contemporary, 548 West 28th Street, 3rd Floor, NYC 10001 (between 10-11 Ave) The Date & Time: Thursday, Feb. 9th @ 6:30-8:30pm The Mission: Snag your Valentine’s date! 😉 Attire: Business Casual -Dress to impress Fee: $39.95 for a private event at Chelsea gallery with open wine bar, delicious light fare, and art giveaway in an intimate setting of 25 ladies and 25 gentlemen. Enroll here: Signup for Our Newsletter Get Us in Your Inbox! Online Dating, Sex, and Relationship Advice Tips in Your Inbox… Follow @theurbandater Like this:Like Loading… Share This Article Facebook0Tweet0Pin0 Posted in: Events Tagged in: events, single Huzzah bitches! Redesigneded Running a blog is… well, it’s kinda shitty sometimes and, well, it’s just fucking hard.

Okay, yes, hard. Oh, no, no. Don’t you go there, you asshole! Don’t say “oooh, first world problems…” You can kiss my snow white, black ass, if you do that! Phew. /end-rant So, yeah, running a blog isn’t easy and coming with inspiration and things to write has been… A challenge, to say the least. Nonetheless, like most things, we’ve sorta evolved the site a tiny bit over the weekend and I’m not lifting the skirt on the new-look for the Urban Dater. This is probably the fourth rendition of the site we’ve made since starting up in, ulp! 2008!! Yeah, it’s not a really big deal, but I tried to do that whole responsive-bullshit thing with the site, meaning that the size should resize based on the screen-size of the device you’re using to view it on. So, yeah, this post isn’t really all that useful; think of it like… Hmmm, think of this post like a among those “clip-shows” from one of your fave sitcoms, like ‘Family Ties’ or, uhhh, %^&* you buddy!!! Here’s a new design, effing deal with it! I’m out! P.S.

If you guys, you know, see anything weird, let us know @theurbandater or contact us directly. Signup for Our Newsletter Get Us in Your Inbox! Online Dating, Sex, and Relationship Advice Tips in Your Inbox… Follow @theurbandater Like this:Like Loading… Share This Article Facebook2Tweet0Pin0 Posted in: Uncategorized I get it – you don’t want to go on yet another date because you can’t bear the very thought of one more magical time together. Don’t worry I recently did an interview with the famous date night destroyer ‘Frank Badguy’ on how he completely removes any risk of becoming soul mates. For me it was life changing! Check these 3 top date destruction tips I learned: Frank’s Top Tip #3:Talk. Don’t Pause.

Then Talk Some More! Everyone has a ‘Pause-o-meter’ – it’s that gap they wait after someone stops talking before they share. For example if you’re talking with a shy guy from the country you then’ll probably need to leave 2-3 seconds of silence before they’ll say anything. Conversely if you get 4 New Yorkers at a table it’s a game of Who’s Interrupting Next with a timer of about -0.5 seconds. Here’s how Frank masters the art of the Pause-O-Meter on Date Night: He uses the initial 5 minutes to spot what the other person’s Wait Timer is. In this manner he knows exactly when they’re going to open their mouth and he can cut them off just as they draw that breath to speak! This maximizes frustration for his dates without missing out on precious talking time for Frank! This one trick allows Frank to talk for 70-80% of the entire night out! Incredible! #2: Be stingy in case they think you may be a ‘nice guy’ Manly men like Frank have learned that nice guys finish last. Over the years he’s developed a double punch approach to avoid any risk of this: Don’t pay for her. At all If she goes along with this destroy any chance that she thinks you’re simply a ‘modern man’ by getting her to pay for something else!

As the Date Night Wingman I totally understand that men need not pay for everything but I would never have thought of the second crushing tip! When done correctly it reinforces your date isn’t a priority to you. This representation of power is the answer to that age-old question of ‘What women want’! After you employ this she won’t be able to get enough of you! Now I can hear you saying to yourself ‘But Elliott, what if she’s so needy that she just goes along with it?’ Never fear – I asked Frank the same question: Get her to pay for yet another thing and laugh all the way to the bank! The # 1 Date Annihilation tip: Be a bore. A serious, serious, bore… I was already on the edge of my seat but then Frank blew me away using this doomsday nuke of date night destruction: “If you’re boring they need to put all the effort in which saves you energy. AND they !” (I literally fell off my seat at this point) It just made so much feeling! Chicks want date night to all be about them so when they’re doing all the work it IS all about them! This is a challenge so Frank uses this imaginative role play to have in the zone: “Pretend you’re a tax auditor.

Now plan your date.” He went onto say that this means never do anything adventurous or imaginative. Bonus Tips to help you avoid the risk of ever going on a second date These are some of the smaller tips I was able to write down in the interview with Frank. Even these one liners are total gold: Be a tool to the waiters Drink and offer to drive them home Definitely don’t do any of these tips Talk about your ex (don’t forget to interrupt!) Laugh at your dates life goals and dreams Don’t shower Definitely don’t wear cologne Be late. Like really late! Signup for Our Newsletter Get Us in Your Inbox! Online Dating, Sex, and Relationship Advice Tips in Your Inbox… Follow @theurbandater Like this:Like Loading… Share This Article Facebook0Tweet0Pin0 Posted in: Dates & Details, Dating & Relationships, For Men Tagged in: date advice Share your inspiration There are many places we can draw upon for inspiration. Typically, for me, it’s a sports related thing. For instance, Brandon Roy’s ridiculous fourth quarter against the Dallas Mavericks. That was inspiring because of how the guy played on virtually no knees. Crazy!! There’s no shortage of stories in sports.   Nonetheless, here at the Urban Dater, we don’t really mention sports all that much, not even water-sports.

It’s a true travesty, I know! We talk about dating, mating and relationships ’round these parts, which brings me to something that recently inspired me. I’ve got a wonderful friend, named Julie. She’s an amazing mother of three kids. First off, that’s inspiring by itself, when you add-on the fact she works full-time and goes to school full-time it makes this act of motherhood more awesome. As great as all that was, that’s not what really inspired me, though. You see, Julie’s fiance, Gary, jumped into her life mid-chaos, so to speak. Julie had twins with another man… While he takes care of her twins financially, he’s not really there. Gary came along about a year or so after the twins were born, when he and Julie began dating. She told me about this awesome man. I was naturally skeptical.

To me, I thought: “What guy in his right mind would step in to a situation like that?” Well, love and boat loads of character make people do a lot things we would consider “crazy.” Not only did Gary date my friend, he really inserted himself as a part of her family; he asked her to marry him and today they have another youngster together. “Oh! Guess what my kids did at school!” Gary would exclaim, like any other proud papa. He goes on about his kids, all of them and you can see the love that exists there. Why does any of that inspire me? It’s inspiring because there’s still plenty of good guys nowadays, ready to step into any situation simply because of love and simply because of the fact that doing something the right way means something in these chaotic times. Honestly, I don’t know a lot of men who would do what Gary did. I might say that I mightn’t have… Share your inspiration Aol and Jeep® want to know what inspires you. Simply share your inspiration by signing at up every person that signs up and creates an inspiration board is entered for a chance to win a random sweepstake rewarding a $50 gift card weekly, and all users are entered for a chance to win the Grand Prize, a $4500 gift card. Signup for Our Newsletter Get Us in Your Inbox! Online Dating, Sex, and Relationship Advice Tips in Your Inbox… Follow @theurbandater Like this:Like Loading… Share This Article Facebook0Tweet0Pin0 Posted in: Advert, Featured, Self Tagged in: free giveaway, inspiration Forgive me if I sound bitter.

Forgive me for not being able to crossover into the unknown, the long run, also known as “moving on.” Forgive me if I give you the most righteous middle finger you have seen this side of the Santa Ana River. Please. Kick rocks and when you’re done with that disappear into your irrelevance and I promise you that I will do the exact same. I stood there, such as a damn stalker. There she was, Emma. Leaving me old and cold, chatting up Mr. Casey, yet another one of my friends was about to become a notch on her thong… that is if she ever cared enough to cage the unruly bush beast of a vagina she hid deep down. Remember, you’re supposed to forgive me for being miserable and bitter. How did this all go so very wrong?

Would a six gun sucker punch have removed my competition, or was it over long before? Perhaps it was over in Las Vegas. Perhaps it was after spending hours lip locked and tongue tied that she became bored and began her hunt anew… Was I simply a month’s old bone, ripped of all its meat? Dry, dull, uninteresting; did I have nothing left to offer then? Perhaps it was in my car, on a breezy-cool autumn evening when I discovered that, no, she REALLY tasted such as a basketball and rubber glue sandwich. No, I’m not bitter, just confused.

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